“I don’t divorce anyone, I don’t sue anyone, I don’t bankrupt anyone, I don’t arrest anyone. All I do is help people plan.” For Laurie Hauptman, an attorney focused on elder and disability law, that philosophy defines her work. Through her practice, she provides thoughtful, comprehensive guidance in areas like estate planning, special needs planning, and probate. Her main goal is helping clients navigate life’s transitions with clarity, compassion, and practical solutions tailored to their evolving needs.
Ultimately, Hauptman sees planning as part of life’s natural cycle. “Our parents guided us… and now we need to possibly do that for them,” she reflects. It’s not about taking control away – it’s about returning the care and support once given, and ensuring that every decision is made with clarity, dignity, and intention.
🎧 If you or a loved one are living (and aging) in Montclair, these are conversations worth having now, not later. Listen to the full conversation below with Laurie Hauptman, Andy Kim, and other local aging experts.
The Reality of the Sandwich Generation
After more than three decades in estate planning and elder law, Hauptman has seen one trend accelerate in recent years: the rise of the sandwich generation. The planning process that Hauptman focuses her career on has become more complex as families are stretched in multiple directions at once. People are living longer. That longevity often comes with extended caregiving responsibilities for aging parents. At the same time, younger adults are remaining financially dependent longer, often into their twenties, due to the high cost of living and the difficult job market. Add in the fact that many people are having children later in life, and the overlap becomes unavoidable.
The result is a generation balancing two full time roles: raising children while caring for aging parents. “There’s an impact on relationships,” Hauptman says. “Marriages, friendships, and sibling relationships can all feel the strain.”
Financial disparities between families can add another layer of tension. One spouse’s parents may have the resources to pay for care, while the other’s may not. These differences can lead to difficult conversations and, in some cases, conflict. At the same time, many caregivers are still working full time jobs. Hauptman points out that two thirds of sandwich generation caregivers report struggling to balance work and caregiving. Many, especially women, reduce their hours or turn down opportunities, affecting their long term financial independence.
Why Planning Matters More Than Ever
For Hauptman, many of these challenges can be traced back to one core issue: a lack of planning and communication. Concerns about the cost of care, inheritance, and how responsibilities are divided often go unspoken until a crisis forces the conversation.
“Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings, which lead to conflict,” she explains.
Her advice is direct. Address these issues early and involve the right professionals. That includes not only an attorney, but also financial advisors, insurance professionals, and other specialists who can help families build a comprehensive plan.
The Foundation of an Estate Plan
When it comes to estate planning, Hauptman emphasizes that most people misunderstand what matters most. Many assume that a will is the central document. While it is important, it is only one piece of a much larger puzzle.
“The will dictates how your assets pass after your death,” she says. “But there are other documents that matter just as much, if not more, while you are still alive.”
She points to several core components that form the foundation of a solid estate plan:
- A general durable power of attorney for financial decisions
- A healthcare proxy and living will
- A last will and testament
- Trusts, when appropriate, depending on the situation
Among these, the power of attorney is often overlooked but critical. This document allows someone you trust to handle your financial affairs if you become unable to do so yourself. Without it, families may be forced to go through the courts to obtain guardianship.
That process can be expensive, time consuming, and intrusive. It often costs thousands of dollars and requires ongoing court supervision, including annual financial and medical reporting.
“If you don’t want the court involved in your private life and finances,” Hauptman says, “you need a power of attorney.”
Planning for Life, Not Just Death
One of the most common misconceptions Hauptman encounters is that estate planning is only about what happens after you die.
In reality, much of it is about protecting yourself while you are still alive. Medical advances mean that people are more likely to survive serious health events like strokes or heart attacks. But survival can come with long term incapacity, making it essential to have trusted decision makers in place. A healthcare proxy allows someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable to communicate. A living will, also known as an advance directive, outlines your wishes for end of life care.
“It’s so much easier for your loved ones to follow your wishes than to guess what you would have wanted,” Hauptman explains.
Without clear instructions, families may face not only emotional stress, but also disagreements, especially in blended families or situations where siblings have differing opinions.
If you’re interested in learning more about estate planning, reach out to Laurie Hauptman at Hauptman and Hauptman, PC.
